I
came up with an idea. I know that’s not the first time I’ve said that
phrase, but it’s something that’s been on my mind for awhile.
Let me preface this first:
I’ve worked in the special needs field for a number of years now. I’ve been everywhere from pre-K, to post-grad. I’ve seen school districts and non-profits and for profits and special needs specific school districts. I’ve worked with a variety of individuals who have been placed in these programs for a variety of reasons.
I think that what amazes me most about any of this, is the isolation. I’m not just talking for the students, who are looked down on by potential employers, by principals and school boards, by the uninitiated common person… But because of things like the NDA, and these same social stigmas that isolate students, I find that workers, and parents become isolated too. We have no one to turn to on a bad day, feeling locked out of our personal relationships because even our best, most understanding friends make off jokes or crude insights about the field. “Well, Barry, you’ve got a lot of experience in the field because you’ve known my son for so long, har har.” “Your student really is an inspiration because of, you know, the handicap.” Etc. When we don’t feel like we’re being actually watched for infidelity to the NDA- which we are reminded constantly by administrative policy and rhetoric that we are. They tell us ghost stories about a parent who was sitting right behind a loud mouthed para in a bar, and that parent was actually the CEO of literally everything, and then blacklisted the person for life from everything.
I mean, it’s real, and let’s understand this; these are real people, with real feelings, who if we’re making crude jokes or telling our own horror stories in public places, we’re doing some big no-nos toward. But the other side of the story is that we have a lot of people who, through fear of administration, of embarrassment, of unemployment… Are not able to talk to each other.
And let’s face it, this goes way past paraprofessionals talking between organizations. Getting volunteer opportunities for our guys or donors for the organizations that hire us is like a bloody turf war. Instead of building together, we watch out for our own, and burn bridges to keep whats ours, ours. The people who get paid big bucks to build our community together and put a safety net out there for our guys are just as catty as high schoolers or drug warlords.
This is done on a level way larger than us paras have the ability to affect, but I think if we want to have any impact, then we should- no, in fact I would go so far as to accentuate- we NEED to socialize. We need to befriend one another, between organizations, and build lines of communication between each other. This needs to happen for us, since we get paid so damn little that we can’t unionize properly, and when we are put into situations which abandon our rights as workers, or as human beings, we need to know what the norm is, and what we can do about it. This needs to happen for us because we’re tearing out our own hair trying to deal with drama and issues that are beyond our control, and by only having access to the insight of our classroom, our program, or our workshop, these little dramas can become bad-news-bears problems. This needs to happen for us because we’re employed by people who know that we have to do both our day job, and respite care to live a normal adult life, and do not waste effort trying to lead us to further education or job advancements. We need to do this for us, because if we don’t, then no one will.
But we also need to do this for our guys. I dream of a world where we are working in organizations which are watching each others’ backs instead of stabbing them. A place where two big groups might open a special needs friendly adult program in a gym or a pool so that we can share the benefits of having such a resource as a safe place we can bring our participants, and a good place to work on job skills for our participants, and a good place for participants who just really like weight lifting to graduate and spend some time at. I dream of a world that when we find a new volunteer activity that our participants can’t use, we can offer it to a program who might have participants who will. Or, a world where parents can intermingle at leisure and meet people who understand them, who help them to relax and be educated about the laws, so that they don’t get so frustrated that they treat us, or their kids, in a way which would be rational for a person with high frustration but no outlet to act.
I dream of a world where when places like Corner Bakery kick out every member with a disability in an area, we can all gather together and protest the heck out of them. Seriously, that didn’t get any news coverage because we never let it.
What I’m looking for from you:
I want people to post their own opinions in a blog styled format once every two weeks. Why so few? Because I want the expectation to be low enough that you actually have time to do it. If I asked you to make three a week, chances are you will do it for a couple of weeks, and then get busy, and we’ll never hear your opinion again. If you want to write a lot all at once, do it. Sometimes you have a lot to say. But save them and make a buffer for when you’re too stressed and busy to write. Cut up longer posts into sections.
We’ll need to figure out rules for how to post. Clearly we can’t use names, abbreviations, hell, even specific behaviors are like writing a signature. But the point isn’t to write stories about our guys. It’s to write stories about OUR world. There’s a lot of parents, and even a significant group of people who have significant special needs themselves who have written about this subject. What we want is the worker’s position. Thoughts and trials from the people on the ground. The more we build together in places like this blog, the further we can support efforts to get our guys together offline. Throw a para-specific mixer at a horse farm. Plan a meetup or something. I don’t know. Directing that sort of social event is not my strength.
And as for what to post? I’m planning on getting people from all walks. I want to hear from the newbies, who just started. I want to hear from the vets, who have been the captain of the team now for years, without any pay benefit or title change. I want to hear from people who hate their job and people who love it. I want to get the real story from the real people.
And that’s not just because there’s nowhere out there that does it right now, which would make this interesting reading (although that is a plus). It’s because if we want television shows and magazines stop publishing our guys as inspirational heroes… If we want people to know how they can actually help our guys instead of treating them like kids or dogs… If we want to be treated as the drunken rabblerousers that we really are instead of the saints that people think we are… Then we need to change the narrative.
Peace out mah people.
Let me preface this first:
I’ve worked in the special needs field for a number of years now. I’ve been everywhere from pre-K, to post-grad. I’ve seen school districts and non-profits and for profits and special needs specific school districts. I’ve worked with a variety of individuals who have been placed in these programs for a variety of reasons.
I think that what amazes me most about any of this, is the isolation. I’m not just talking for the students, who are looked down on by potential employers, by principals and school boards, by the uninitiated common person… But because of things like the NDA, and these same social stigmas that isolate students, I find that workers, and parents become isolated too. We have no one to turn to on a bad day, feeling locked out of our personal relationships because even our best, most understanding friends make off jokes or crude insights about the field. “Well, Barry, you’ve got a lot of experience in the field because you’ve known my son for so long, har har.” “Your student really is an inspiration because of, you know, the handicap.” Etc. When we don’t feel like we’re being actually watched for infidelity to the NDA- which we are reminded constantly by administrative policy and rhetoric that we are. They tell us ghost stories about a parent who was sitting right behind a loud mouthed para in a bar, and that parent was actually the CEO of literally everything, and then blacklisted the person for life from everything.
I mean, it’s real, and let’s understand this; these are real people, with real feelings, who if we’re making crude jokes or telling our own horror stories in public places, we’re doing some big no-nos toward. But the other side of the story is that we have a lot of people who, through fear of administration, of embarrassment, of unemployment… Are not able to talk to each other.
And let’s face it, this goes way past paraprofessionals talking between organizations. Getting volunteer opportunities for our guys or donors for the organizations that hire us is like a bloody turf war. Instead of building together, we watch out for our own, and burn bridges to keep whats ours, ours. The people who get paid big bucks to build our community together and put a safety net out there for our guys are just as catty as high schoolers or drug warlords.
This is done on a level way larger than us paras have the ability to affect, but I think if we want to have any impact, then we should- no, in fact I would go so far as to accentuate- we NEED to socialize. We need to befriend one another, between organizations, and build lines of communication between each other. This needs to happen for us, since we get paid so damn little that we can’t unionize properly, and when we are put into situations which abandon our rights as workers, or as human beings, we need to know what the norm is, and what we can do about it. This needs to happen for us because we’re tearing out our own hair trying to deal with drama and issues that are beyond our control, and by only having access to the insight of our classroom, our program, or our workshop, these little dramas can become bad-news-bears problems. This needs to happen for us because we’re employed by people who know that we have to do both our day job, and respite care to live a normal adult life, and do not waste effort trying to lead us to further education or job advancements. We need to do this for us, because if we don’t, then no one will.
But we also need to do this for our guys. I dream of a world where we are working in organizations which are watching each others’ backs instead of stabbing them. A place where two big groups might open a special needs friendly adult program in a gym or a pool so that we can share the benefits of having such a resource as a safe place we can bring our participants, and a good place to work on job skills for our participants, and a good place for participants who just really like weight lifting to graduate and spend some time at. I dream of a world that when we find a new volunteer activity that our participants can’t use, we can offer it to a program who might have participants who will. Or, a world where parents can intermingle at leisure and meet people who understand them, who help them to relax and be educated about the laws, so that they don’t get so frustrated that they treat us, or their kids, in a way which would be rational for a person with high frustration but no outlet to act.
I dream of a world where when places like Corner Bakery kick out every member with a disability in an area, we can all gather together and protest the heck out of them. Seriously, that didn’t get any news coverage because we never let it.
What I’m looking for from you:
I want people to post their own opinions in a blog styled format once every two weeks. Why so few? Because I want the expectation to be low enough that you actually have time to do it. If I asked you to make three a week, chances are you will do it for a couple of weeks, and then get busy, and we’ll never hear your opinion again. If you want to write a lot all at once, do it. Sometimes you have a lot to say. But save them and make a buffer for when you’re too stressed and busy to write. Cut up longer posts into sections.
We’ll need to figure out rules for how to post. Clearly we can’t use names, abbreviations, hell, even specific behaviors are like writing a signature. But the point isn’t to write stories about our guys. It’s to write stories about OUR world. There’s a lot of parents, and even a significant group of people who have significant special needs themselves who have written about this subject. What we want is the worker’s position. Thoughts and trials from the people on the ground. The more we build together in places like this blog, the further we can support efforts to get our guys together offline. Throw a para-specific mixer at a horse farm. Plan a meetup or something. I don’t know. Directing that sort of social event is not my strength.
And as for what to post? I’m planning on getting people from all walks. I want to hear from the newbies, who just started. I want to hear from the vets, who have been the captain of the team now for years, without any pay benefit or title change. I want to hear from people who hate their job and people who love it. I want to get the real story from the real people.
And that’s not just because there’s nowhere out there that does it right now, which would make this interesting reading (although that is a plus). It’s because if we want television shows and magazines stop publishing our guys as inspirational heroes… If we want people to know how they can actually help our guys instead of treating them like kids or dogs… If we want to be treated as the drunken rabblerousers that we really are instead of the saints that people think we are… Then we need to change the narrative.
Peace out mah people.
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